Here's to tomorrow...

Today was one of those days when I didn't want to read any more books to my children, do anyone's hair, tie any shoes, make any more meals, or clean up after anyone!! Today was a day that I was short-tempered, sad, and angry. I don't know what happened to make me lose it today but I did. I told the girls that I was tired of being dumped on and taken advantage of and I needed some alone time!! That alone time lasted for about 5 minutes and it wasn't long enough. I kept telling myself that my husband will be here shortly, I will be home soon and all will be well. But sometimes, no matter what I say to myself.....it doesn't help!

I killed my normal 100 bugs today - Lucie still wasn't feeling well and I am so ready to go home. I thought I was doing so well....thinking how close we are to the finish, but today...not a good day.

We went for our run this morning and it started to rain on us - I know Scarlett was thinking.."great, we're finished" but I kept running and didn't speak to her the entire time. I kept thinking that soon, I would feel better. I would feel refreshed..but no, didn't happen. We finished our run and came home and I got a Skype from my dear friend, Sue. I wasn't going to answer initially because I thought I was not in the mood to be nice to anyone - but I did and am so glad. Sue always makes me laugh and she is such a good listener. It was exactly what I needed at the time. I miss my girl friends...all of them....so much!! I miss being able to talk about life and hear about what's going on with them - I miss the bonding.

Our conversation was cut short because Lucie wasn't feeling well - and we were back in the bathroom and Lucie was very upset. She is tired of being sick and I am tired of worrying about her. She didn't get sick after all and ended up taking a long nap and feeling much better when she woke up. My husband thinks she has a parasite...he is probably right. O.K. - as tough as this experience has been, we have been blessed with good health until this point and I want that to continue. You never do appreciate the blessings, until they are taken away. So having my girl wake up, happy and healthy was my saving grace.

The girls' knew I wasn't having a good day and played very well together. Gracie is learning to play by herself....which is a new experience for her. Scarlett was a very good helper to me - cleaning the dishes and rubbing my feet!! ;) We had a much better afternoon than we had in the morning.

Now the girls are in bed, I am watching a movie and relaxing with a couple of beers!! My husband will be here tomorrow night and I won't have to sleep alone for another week!! I made it through the day and tomorrow will be better.

I know that I am not Wonder Woman and I will have days like today but it's very hard for me to handle. Feeling sorry for myself and wishing something (like I want to be home now) that I know I can't have makes me feel weak and vulnerable...not feelings I like to have. This has truly been a roller coaster ride for me in so many ways...I can't appreciate the good without the bad - but the bad is not fun and I am so ready to get to the top of the mountain and not be in the valley anymore.

So here's to tomorrow - a day of happiness, a day of rejoice, a day of knowing how blessed I am and enjoying every moment!!