Adios Nicaragua

Yes, it's official...tonight is our last night in Nicaragua!! And I am SO READY to go home!! This gorgeous hotel has it's perks, but one room for 3 nights with 4 girls....not so good. I can't go to the bathroom by myself, shower by myself, or sleep by myself. My only time of peace is when everyone is sleeping. Scarlett will not go to sleep until I do....so I never have a second to myself!! When I am at my breaking point, I roam the halls in front of our room and listen to the piped in music (it's in English) and breath deeply and slowly. ;)

Today was our day to pick up Gracie's Visa - so exciting!! We told our lawyer that we were leaving today (and the Embassy) because we didn't want any more delays. We arrived right at 10 and I decided to leave Scarlett and Lucie with Norman while Gracie and I ran in. I told him it would be 5 minutes and he was happy to have some company. I left everything in the car, including my phone, because they don't allow you to bring anything in - Norman showed me where to go when I was finished and where he would be parked. We were all set!

Gracie and I were literally in there for 10 minutes - we went right through security and was handed our package and was ready to go... When we came out of the Embassy - there were several men petitioning something....I don't know what, but I was approached by them asking me to sign their documents. I kept saying "no" and kept looking for Norman. We waited a few minutes, and I was wondering what was taking him so long. Cabs kept coming by and asking me if I needed a ride...and time kept passing. I was very nervous at this point, I only had my wallet and Gracie's paperwork... Then I started to think the worst about Norman - where was he with my children? I knew in my heart they were fine but I was an emotional mess!!

I have been so frustrated and emotional these last few days...and here I was, finally done and instead of being happy, I was scared. Scared to be standing on this corner and scared to not know where my kids were...

To make a long story, short...Norman had taken the girls to the park (Scarlett's idea) for a quick 5 minutes that turned into 30....my lawyer, Nubia was driving by and saw me stranded and called Norman for me and took me to where he was....All was well in the end, but I must say, my nerves are SHOT!!!

I have not been feeling well at all these last few days and it just keeps getting a little worst every day...I think it is nerves, and a big flippin' parasite living in my tummy!! Seriously, I don't know what it is but want it to go away!! We took it easy and went to the pool today. Our plan was to walk across the street and see "G I Joe" - once we arrived, we were told that it was in Spanish so we went to Plan B... We bought popcorn and candy at the theater and walked back to our room to watch a movie. It was fun. We ordered room service for dinner and the girls loved sitting on our beds and eat dinner. Tomorrow, we are saying goodbye to Norman at 11 - and Maria Jose and Allyson are picking us up and taking us to the airport. I still can't believe that we are leaving....

I want to thank you all for reading my blog - for loving me - forgiving me and not judging me!! Having you all with me through this process has made it the experience it has been for me. Thank you!! You will never know what your comments, emails and messages have meant to me - thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

My plan is to continue to blog for the first few days that we are at home - to "tie things up" and let you all know how Gracie and the rest of us, are doing .... so you can't get rid of me yet!! Tomorrow our flight leaves at 3:00 PM and we don't arrive until Sunday morning at 1:00 AM - so no blog tomorrow but soon, I promise soon!!

Have a great weekend - Love and Blessings to you all and Adios Nicaragua!!!

I need more tissue!!

Well, it has been a VERY busy and crazy couple of days!! Sorry I didn't blog last night but we are now in a hotel and they charge me for every minute I'm on the Internet!! So I am counting the minutes and minimizing where I can. My poor husband, I now will only stay on Skype for so long because I have to check my email, facebook and Skype all within my 2 hour time limit!! I always do the same thing on the phone....can't waste my minutes!!!

Today is Thursday - so let me start with Wednesday. Wednesday started with an early morning - 6:00 AM to finish packing and check out by noon. What is surprising about this are two things.. 1. I cannot believe how much stuff we have accumulated in the past 3 months and 2. How sad I was to say goodbye to our home of 3 months.

When we were packing to come here - I had sheets, pillows, dishes, pans and towels...all of that, is staying here, so I assumed that I would have very little to bring home. That has turned out NOT to be the case for us!! I guess since we have an additional child, that makes a little difference ;) We have all suitcases packed to the limit and moving them out of the house was a task in itself. Norman came to our house at 7:30 AM to take two carloads of stuff to his house (we gave him all of our fans, kitchen ware, bed clothes, towels etc..) - he then had to take another load to the orphanage. So by the time he got back to the house, we were running short on time.

We had to go to immigration before noon and see if there was any way we could pick up Gracie's passport a day early - (which of course did NOT happen...they told us to come back the next day) we also had to check out of the condo by noon. So when Norman arrived, he came to the rescue once again!! We left to pick up his wife, Susanna - checked into the hotel and left the kids with her - while Norman and I went back to the condo, filled his car with luggage and checked out!!

After 3 months of basically hell in a small - bug infested house...I was crying when it was time to say "goodbye"!! I looked at the street that Scarlett and I had run up and down for the past few weeks, the walls in our house that were decorated with hand-made pictures from my girls, the small bathroom I have been getting ready in where you can't shut the door unless you are in the shower and thought.....wow, I am going to miss this place!! I said goodbye to every room, to all the guards and was on my way to our new home.....The Intercontinental (sounds pretty awesome right?!?!)

We arrived at the hotel with 10 bags of luggage and I was hoping that our room was large enough to fit all of it!! When we pulled up - 2 bell men were opening my car door and asking how they could help. I had 7 bags taken to storage and 3 brought to our room - I had a man open my door and Norman, as usual...carrying any bags I had in hand and I just stopped.....I stopped, looked around and told the men surrounding me "Now this is exactly what I need...to be surrounded by men who want to help me!!!" Nice!!

We love our new home - it has hot water....YES, clean carpet, VERY comfortable beds, sheets and blankets, room service and a Mini - BAR!!! ;) I'm happy!! We spent a couple of hours here just relaxing and then started to get ready for our big "Goodbye Dinner" that we had planned. Our opportunity to thank the people who have been so inspirational and loving to our Gracie. We decided to have the dinner with the Tomczak's...since Jonathan and Gracie grew up together. We had about 20 people there - it wasn't too many people where we couldn't visit - but had everyone included...it was a really wonderful time....we laughed and talked and then finally, said goodbye. I know I will see everyone again soon but these people have been my family here and it's hard to say goodbye. To be honest, I cry at Hallmark commercials (do they even have those anymore??? I have TIVO), almost every movie I watch and sometimes...for no reason at all - so I was a mess last night!!

Today, Thursday was yet another busy and emotional day!! It was our DAY at the immigration office...they had turned us down yesterday when we attempted to get Gracie's Passport early, so today...today we NEEDED to get Gracie's passport or we would be here until at least Monday!! I haven't been sleeping well and my stomach was doing back flips but I really felt confident that we would be walking out successful!! We got to the office an hour before we were suppose to be there and walked into a room completely full of Nicaraguans!!! I was the tallest and whitest girl in the building!!! It was total chaos... there was about 12 different lines and I had no idea where to go or what to do (stomach out of control by this point) - Norman, took my paperwork and started to weave through the crowd... he came back a couple of minutes later and said "Don't worry Lesa....sit and wait" so I did as I was told and seriously, 10 minutes later I hear "Gracie Grimes!!! Gracie Grimes!!!" I went up to the window and handed my passport to the guy and he looked at me - looked at my passport and then handed mine AND Gracie's passport back to me!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?! I HAVE GRACIE'S PASSPORT!!! I did the Happy Dance right there and then (a lot of hip shaking and arm waiving with a big smile on my face)!! When the girls saw me, they joined me in the Happy Dance and Norman, well he just shook his head and laughed at all of us!! I started to cry then and didn't stop for about 20 minutes. Tears of total JOY!!!

After talking to my husband...we headed to the Dr's office for her health certificate and then to the US Embassy for her Visa. We were in the Embassy for about 2 hours, completing paperwork, answering questions and making more payments (did someone say that adopting in Nicaragua was free?!?!?!) - the girls were pretty much out of control but I didn't care too much. I was in a very weird mood today....I smiled a lot but didn't pull any punches. For example, when our coordinator Margine told me that "there could be a problem with the computer and we may not get your Visa in time for your flight tomorrow" my reply .... with a BIG smile on my face "there will NOT be any issues...that I am sure of"!! My husband thinks that I am scaring everyone here and they are going to be sure to get me out of their country.....fine by me!! ;)

So now - we have one more step!! Going to the embassy tomorrow to pick up Gracie's Visa - if there are no issues, we will have everything we need to go home!! YES!!

We ended our day today with an awesome Mexican meal with our dear friends, The Tomczak's. It was our last time with them and again, I cried and cried when we said goodbye. Jonathan has become a very close friend of my children and both Jason and Michele have been there for me through it all. I will miss them all terribly!!

So it has been a VERY emotional couple of days....I look forward to finishing things up tomorrow - to having no issues and to enjoying our last day in Nicaragua!! Our plan is to take a late afternoon flight Saturday...getting us home early Sunday morning. We will spend the day in our PJ's resting and embracing the fact that we are home....sounds awesome!!!

Here's to a GREAT day tomorrow - Love you all so much - Blessings, Blessings, Blessings!!!

Don't ask....because I don't know!!

As you all know, last night was tough!! I was worried about how today would go....The day started with a phone call from Norman at 1:30 AM letting me know that he had our documents - which he got from our friend Tommy at the airport. When my phone rang, I thought it was my alarm and turned it off....realized the time and took the next call from Norman!! ;)

So the day started off great - one thing checked off!! Norman picked us up at 7:30 AM (did the guy sleep at all last night?) and I immediately called Freddy to tell him we were on the way. Good thing I called because I woke him up (he seriously told me that his watch had stopped working!!) and we had to pick him up close to his house because he was running late. So already, we were behind schedule. We got there and headed to some sort of office that authenticates documents...so the documents we had from the Nicaraguan Embassy still needed authentication - don't ask...because I don't know!!

Nubia - our lawyer - met us there. The authentication process was quick and I was thinking that we were doing pretty good on our schedule. Know that my plan (I live by planning) was to be at the immigration office early so we could pick up Gracie's passport in the afternoon and possibly meet with the US Embassy and be done!!

Once Nubia looked over the documents - she told Freddy that the title of the document was incorrect. Apparently it needs to read "Special Document" and ours read "Document of Correction". She blamed Freddy because he didn't send the document to her for final approval before sending it to me. My question was "Now, she is saying this.....why didn't she say something last Friday?" After further review of the document, she found another "error" - it stated that Gracie was born on November 20th in Managaua and she was born in a different city. She told Freddy this was a MAJOR ISSUE and if they caught this...we would have to have another document sent. Not news that I wanted to hear.

So instead of going to the Immigration office, we went across the street where there were several lawyers with typewriters that would make an addendum for you right there. We sat down and waited for an hour, while a lawyer typed a document that amended the title of our Power of Attorney. This was a tough hour for me....the girls were restless, we had not had breakfast yet - it was hot and we were on a very busy street, so the entire time I was worried about one of them walking away or getting abducted!! Norman was a God send...he played with the girls and kept a good eye on them while I tried to figure out what was taking so damn long and getting us way off schedule.

Nubia was so negative....she kept talking to Freddy (never me) and complaining about how my negative energy was making her lose sleep!! Apparently, when I lost my mind in the Immigration office last Friday...that was upsetting to her. My response....I have lost sleep for days...and this is HER issue...HER error and how does she expect me to respond? She was apparently mad at me because she kept her back to me the entire time we were there and I was so close to slapping the back of her head and HARD....I could visualize her head snapping up and down. No permanent damage but at least hard enough for her to know that I deserve respect and she needs to do a better job!!

Once the 2 addendum's were finished, we headed over to Immigration and I was told that there was a very small possibility that this would work. They would catch the error of the city Gracie was born or wouldn't accept the addendum.

It is very difficult to spend 4 hours in an office where you stand in one line and finally talk to someone, who then sends you to another line and again and again. The entire time you have children to watch, appease and are doing everything you can to keep your sanity. The girls' kept asking me "How much longer Mommy?" "What is he doing?" "When can we go home" and my answer to every question was "Don't ask me...I don't know!!!"

We spent a half an hour in one line...sent to another and another and another... Every time we changed lines I would say "Ay ay ay!!!" The third time I said that my interpreter told me I was stressing him out so I turned to the one person in my life who ALWAYS listens and ALWAYS has my back....my husband.

Many of you know my husband as a very mild mannered guy...and he is... until he gets angry. It takes a lot, but when he does....watch out!! When I called Tim and told him what was going on, he started to tell me how ridiculous this entire process was, how upset he was and he used the "F" word about 10 times!!! I found this refreshing!! My husband was saying exactly what I was feeling but couldn't say!! I got off the phone and told Freddy how upset Tim was and this made him even more stressed. ;)

We FINALLY met with the boss lady...the same one who turned us down on Friday!! Both Freddy and I were freaking out while she was reading through our documents. She asked us a couple of questions and started signing her name on every page!! When we left the office, Freddy and I were both crying and hugging each other. What a relief!! Our passport was approved!!! We still had a few more checks that we sweated through, those but in the end...success!! My expectations of the day were completed washed away, but I was so so happy to have this one step FINISHED!!

I called my husband and knew he was still VERY upset, so I said "Hey love, I have some good news and some bad news - what do you want to hear first" his reply was "what is it!!!" He didn't pick any option, so I decided he needed the good news...yes, we were approved and the bad news, they said we couldn't pick up the passport until Thursday, so we definitely could not make our flight. Well, he really didn't respond well. I was so happy that we were finally through with the immigration office but he was still very much upset. So I told him I would be home soon and Skype him...this way I could help him see the positive side.

Now there is really only one thing that I know that will change my husband's mood immediately (seriously Meme if you are reading this...stop now) and that is to flash him. Any time he is truly upset about something, I flash him and he smiles...then laughs...usually asks for another peek and then he is truly happy. Happy to the core!! It works like a charm and I have had to use this trick several times. So when I Skyped him at home and knew his mood was still pissy, I flashed him and he smiled and all was well. He did ask me to do it again, I did but I heard a very strange noise when I did it. I told him I think we are being monitored and some type of alarm had gone off!! I was truly worried...finally my husband confessed that he was taking a SNAPSHOT!! Hellooo, I think you need my permission for that!!! ;)

So all is well with the Grimes' family. We are behind schedule but SO HAPPY to have finished this part of the process!! Tim strongly suggested that we move out of the condo tomorrow - as we originally planned and stay at a nice hotel. So I made reservations and we are moving out tomorrow!!! YES!!!! I am packing like a crazy woman and getting bags and bags of stuff to give away...it's a good feeling!! We will be staying at the Intercontinental which is right across the street from the mall and if we are here a few more days, we will have easy access to entertainment.

Tomorrow we are back to the immigration office to "hopefully" pick up Gracie's passport...keep us in your prayers...love and miss you all and soon, soon, we will be home!!

The end is near....

O.K., the title of this blog is a little depressing, right? Instead of feeling happy and excited, I am full of anxiety and stress! I am so ready for tomorrow to be here, but so afraid that it is here as well. This is where we are... My husband sent the documents we need in two different ways - first through DHL to my lawyers city and after speaking with my translator, I discovered that she did not even attempt to acquire the documents. Nubia was apparently out of town and returning today. So on to option 2 - our friend Tommy is flying into Managua at 12:30 AM tomorrow morning...a couple of hours from now and Norman is driving to the airport to meet him.

Now this sounds like a great way to get the documents to us but Norman has never met Tommy and I am a little concerned that they won't hook up. I explained to Norman what Tommy looks like - I started off by telling him he has red hair, thinking this was all the description necessary - I mean seriously, I think Tommy is the only red head in Nicaragua at any given time. But Norman continued to ask for details...Is he tall? My reply - yes, much taller than you ;) I told him he wore glasses but Norman (obviously not satisfied) asked if he had dark skin!!! Scarlett chimed in and said he had the same color of skin as she did and I repeated again, "Norman, Tommy has RED HAIR!!!" So I am praying they meet and asked Norman to call me as soon as he had the documents in hand!!

Assuming we get the documents - we are leaving at 7:30 AM with Norman to pick up our translator Freddy. Apparently, the documents have to be certified and notarized (albeit they came from the Nicaraguan Embassy) so our first stop after picking up Freddy, is to go to the bank and get this done. Then we are off to the immigration office to meet with Nubia.

Nubia has been sick a lot lately and she has a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning and is planning on meeting us after...Freddy attempted to meet her tonight to pick up the documents but she would not release them to him - she wants to be there. So hopefully, she will be in and out of the doctor's and meeting us soon after we arrive.

Then, as long as the documents are in order, we request the passport - normally it takes 24 hours but we are hoping and praying we get it tomorrow afternoon - then we are off to the doctor's office to pick up his report and then to the U.S. Embassy to request our Visa.

It's all a little too much for me...one issue and everything is out of whack. But I continue to pray that all will be fine and that we can move forward. So here's to a smooth and busy day tomorrow!!

My stomach is in knots and I am running on nervous energy - haven't slept well and as hard as I try to put this out of my mind....the details are haunting me. What I do know is that my family has done everything we have been asked to do and all we can do now, is wait and see how it plays out. I also know that even if we run into a snag along the way, we will be home...and soon!

We babysat Jonathan this evening - he is such a ball of energy and it amazes me how different boys are from girls. The first thing he did was lock the girls' bedroom door (he was outside of the room) and shut it closed. This has never happened before so I pulled out my massive key chain and tried every key....of course none of them worked - so we had to go to the office and ask for help!! This also gave me the opportunity to talk to the owner and explain our issues with immigration and tell her that tomorrow I "should" know when we are moving out!! Craziness. She unlocked the door and we were back in business. We were watching Transformers and every couple of seconds (not exaggerating) Jonathan would ask "Is that a transformer? Why doesn't he transform now? What are they saying? Where is the airplane? What's his name? Why do transformers exist?" We were exhausted watching the movie but we really enjoyed our time with him. We will miss the Tomczak's very much when we leave!!

Because today was a holiday - everything was closed!! The mall, the movie theater, most restaurants - so we spent most of our time packing and getting ready for tomorrow. It's a big day for us...keep us all in your prayers and I will let you know how it goes!!

Love and Blessings....

La casa de Norman y Susanna

I know I've said it before...but I love Sunday's!! I love going to church and seeing all the kids from the orphanage. It allows me time to focus on what's going on in my head and then to hear the message, which always seems to put things in perspective for me. Today when I sat in church, I wrote some notes about how I was feeling. I wrote:

"Today I am sad and happy. My adventure here in Nicaragua has come to an end - it seems like so long since I have been home but I cannot believe it has gone by so fast. Why can't I appreciate every moment? If I did, I wouldn't feel this way - I would be ready for the next day"

Pastor Josue focused on Matthew 6 - 25 today - it just so happens it was about worrying. Some of what we read was "When we worry about tomorrow - we miss out on today!" "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble on its' own"

This was a message I needed to hear. These last few days have been a struggle for me. I am so ready to pack and do things to move forward and have had to do nothing but wait. So focusing on our time here...enjoying it, that's exactly what I am going to do!!

After church, our cab driver and dear friend, Norman invited us to his home for lunch. His wife Susanna was cooking for us and he was very excited to show us his home. He told me it was small but full of love...and he was exactly right!! Norman and Susanna live in a very modest home - it is about the size of our downstairs townhouse. I would guess a total of about 700 sq feet. It was spotless and decorated with wedding pictures and home-made pictures. The main area had a small kitchen and sitting area and then off to the left was their TV and shelves. They had plastic chairs and no fans (hello Norman, you are getting ALL our fans!!).

Norman has about 1/4 of an acre of land - they have 2 gardens, a laundry area and room to build on to their home, which they plan to do as their family grows. They have a sweet dog and 2 birds that we met and played with. Susanna cooked a GREAT lunch. We had fish, chicken, the best rice I have ever had (Lucie ate all of hers and half of mine), plantains and tomatoes from their garden. It was muy rico!!

After lunch, Norman had bought presents for us all!! Bracelets with the girls names on them, Lucie got the movie Transformers I and II, and for me a small key chain that says "Nicaragua" on it - all so we won't forget him. Scarlett had me tell Norman that even if we didn't have anything from him, we will never forget him! How true is that?!!?

We were telling Susanna that we had 2 dogs at home and then Norman asked Scarlett to show her what our dog Esme looked like and Scarlett immediately transformed her face to look JUST LIKE our bulldog. It was hilarious!! We talked, laughed and got to know Susanna much better. We spend almost everyday with Norman and spending all this time together, we have gotten to all know each other very well.

Norman told us that when he builds on to his home, our family can stay with him when we come back to visit Nicaragua. The generosity amazes me!! Lucie had a great idea - she could fly by herself (like Scarlett does when she goes to California to visit her dad) to Nicaragua and stay in this new casita. ;)

We had one of the best afternoons ever today!! I so missed my husband and knew he would have loved to have been there - but it was very special and we felt so welcome. Norman started off as our cab driver, became our friend and now he is a special part of our family. What a blessing he is to us all!!

Unconditional Giving

I want to start off my blog by thanking all of you, who read this, who support and love me and my family. YOU have made all the difference in this "adventure" of ours!! I still can't believe that our time here is coming to an end. Scarlett said today that we will never live here again.. we will come back to visit but never live here. We won't frequent the places we hold so dear and be with the people who have always supported and loved us...it has been a once in a lifetime opportunity for us - one that we will always treasure.

We took our last visit today to Granada. We love this city. It is so full of life and activity. We feel at home here with lots of gringos around :) We had breakfast at our favorite place "Kathy's Waffle House" and ate too many pancackes and waffles!! Lucie always has their chocolate milk and it is heaven in a glass!! We all had a small taste this morning. Our friends Jason, Michele and Jonathan accompanied us and we did some shopping for gifts and enjoyed the morning in this beautiful city.

We have been busy packing - looking through everything to see what we want to bring home. Our plan is to give everything away...the dishes, the bedding, fans, games...and clothing. We will be going home much lighter than when we came!!

I have to share something with you all that has always bothered me and continues to do so - It's about unconditional giving. I always have considered myself a giving person but I must admit that I have my restrictions. I want to help - I want to give but always on MY terms. I am ashamed of this. For example, I have a lady, Jacklyn, that comes and cleans for us - she does our laundry and some cleaning 3 times a week. Jacklyn is a nice lady and I know she needs the work. I always over-pay her and thank her for her help. There have been times that she doesn't clean for us.. when we are away from the house when she usually arrives...but I always pay her as if she was here and working. Yesterday, I explained when we were leaving and that her last day would be Wednesday. Jacklyn started to ask me to give her things around the house - cleaning products and our fans - I explained that we are giving everything to the people at the orphanage. Her reply was that she really needed one of our fans and I told her that I would think about it. And I have. I have thought and thought about who is more deserving - the orphanage, Norman my cab driver who has been so good to us or Jacklyn. If I am truly honest, I don't want to give her anything because she asked for it!! I know this isn't right - and I am struggling with these feelings. I still don't know what I want to do - or more importantly, what is the best thing to do. Why is being good so hard sometimes?

I feel the same way when I am not appreciated. There have been so many times that I have given to Maria Jose and the children at the orphanage and not been thanked. We recently took several of the older girls and Maria Jose to a movie and dinner - it was expensive due to the amount of people but I enjoyed doing it...enjoyed it until the end of the night and not one person thanked me. I hold resentment because of this and I don't like those feelings. Isn't giving suppose to be unconditional? Being thanked or not being asked...should they matter at all? Why does it have such an impact on me?

We had a good day today overall....I am starting to feel positive about the fact that we will be home and soon, no matter what delays we incur. Tomorrow is a tough day for us - possibly our last at the orphanage and it makes me very sad. Saying goodbye has NEVER been something I'm good at - I usually lie about how long I'll be gone (the kids will ask me when I'm coming back and I will answer "in a couple of months" and Scarlett always contradicts me and says - we aren't coming back for a long time!!! Can you go away now?) and always, always cry!! So I am off to bed to get a good night's rest and praying that tomorrow goes smoothly.

Again, thank you to all of you - our AMAZING friends and family...I love you more than you will ever know and hope that I am as good as a friend to you that you have all been to me!! Love and Blessings!!! Happy Weekend!!

Fiesta de adios para Gracie

I woke up this morning with a call from my husband at 6:30 AM. He was at the Nicaraguan Embassy with our friend Guillermo - there to get an updated power of attorney. He was confirming with me, Gracie's Birthday, my social security number etc.. Of course my husband got everything done that needed to be done. He promised me that he would have the documents to me if he had to fly down himself!! I like my husband....I like him a lot!! We talked throughout the morning regarding the details. What amazes both of us is how amazing our friends are - Guillermo dropped everything, on such short notice, to accompany Tim to the embassy. We have messages from friends who are praying for us. Suggestions and support. We reached out to a friend at OrphaNetwork and discovered he is coming to Nicaragua on Monday.. this is our saving grace!! Hand delivered documents...from a trusted friend. It doesn't get any better than that!!

Scarlett asked me today - "Mommy - when will we know if we can go home on Thursday?" And my answer was "Thursday morning at around 10:00 AM"!! We are cutting it close, right?!?! ;)

Today was Gracie's goodbye party at the orphanage - Jason and Michele bought the biggest pinata I have ever seen!! It was yellow - bright yellow - round - with a big smiley face on it and a party hat on top! We filled it with about 20 bags of candy and headed to the orphanage. We had 75 donuts, lots of soda and of course, Mr. Smiley. :)

Going to the orphanage is ALWAYS a blessing to me. After my day yesterday, I was not in the mood to celebrate. I wasn't too much better today...but it is always a blessing to see my kids. They were excited about the party but were sad that we were leaving next week. Leaving these kids is the hardest thing to do....I know I will see them soon but want to see them often, so they will know how much I love them and make a difference in their lives.

Even more important than me saying goodbye is our sweet Gracie having to say goodbye. She doesn't understand fully of what is happening - but I know that the staff and these children ARE also her family. Maria Jose wrote a letter to Gracie explaining her life at the orphanage - when she came, what her mannerisms were like as a child, her likes and dislikes and then ended it with giving her advice to listen to her parents, live life to it's fullest and love God. Maria Jose read it to me and I cried....our girl was loved and the people here have made her the beautiful girl she is today.

We will see everyone again on Sunday...but today was bittersweet - a celebration but a goodbye.

Nicaragua Embassy...here we come!!

Well today sucked!! I don't know what other word better describes it. I knew it would be a tough day but tough turned into horrific!! We left for the immigration office at 8:30 AM - there was no air conditioning and soon, it was so uncomfortable. There were lots of seats, so the girls were very well behaved, playing their games and coloring. We stood in many lines...One line to complete the forms, one to wait to meet with the manager for approval, then to another line to wait for final approval. We jumped through all the necessary "hoops" and I finally made it to the final approval window! I kept fixing Gracie's hair for her passport picture and then there was a problem....My translator Freddy has a great poker face - he always smiles and albeit, I know enough Spanish to survive - I am often in the dark when it comes to the details.

Apparently there was an issue with our Power of Attorney, which we need because my husband is home. The power of attorney has Gracie's name BEFORE we changed it on her new birth certificate - it does however, show her original name and the revised name but the guy behind the window was not accepting it. He left us to discuss with his supervisor and came back about 15 minutes later with the same answer "this won't work". So Freddy told me we would work it all out and walked me to the other side of the building where we met with the main supervisor - a woman with a frown and our meeting was short and to the point - she wasn't changing the answer - we had to revise our power of attorney.

Well, we gave the news to our lawyer Nubia and she was furious...she told me the immigration office is like a stop light - green (meaning a go sometimes) and red (no go). When we started to discuss our options...I asked the question of how we could get all these things done before my flight on Thursday and her response, "change your flight". Well, after 5 hours of waiting in lines, sweating and having to appease my children, I was NOT in a good mood. At this response, I stood up and growled LOUDLY and walked out of the building. I am still a little shocked at my response but I was so angry....so frustrated. I finally thought all was going well and then, this. I spent a few minutes crying and yelling...finally pulled myself together and walked back in.

The plan is this....Tim heads to the Nicaraguan Embassy first thing tomorrow morning. He is bringing our friend Guillermo - who speaks fluent Spanish - with him. My lawyer sent me a letter that Tim signs and brings with him that explains what we need. They will create a revised power of attorney and stamp it and then my husband has to figure out a way to get it to me here in Nicaragua by Monday. This would be very easy in the states but the mail process here is extremely challenging. His plan is that he gets several copies and sends them FEDEX, UPS, DHL, any possible way to ensure it reaches us on time.

Monday is a holiday here...an extension of a previous holiday in July (seriously) - so we miss another day. So when I get the document, I have to return to immigration - go through the same process again - they will have the passport ready for me the next day - Wednesday - I have to then go to the doctor with Gracie's passport to release his records, and take all the documents to the US Embassy at 10:30 AM - they will then submit my paperwork for her Visa - which I cannot pick up until 8:00 AM Thursday and then head straight to the airport to make my 12:00 flight!!!! It's tight....nothing else can go wrong....and I am a little stressed.

I was feeling so good about our process - knowing that everything would go smoothly and now this. We were suppose to go to the orphanage today for a goodbye party but I was NOT up to it - so it's postponed until tomorrow. I know that this may seem silly to everyone - it's only a short delay, right? I can't explain how challenging it is for me now to not lose all my positive outlook and tell everyone to go fly a kite!!!

I am so thankful for my husband who when I called to discuss what I needed, NEVER hesitated to do what he needs to do to get us home. Our friends, who drop everything, reschedule their day to help...I am so blessed and supported.

Tomorrow will bring more answers and a better idea of where we are - Not a lot of laughs today, just a lot of tears. Please keep us in your prayers that I handle this situation...whatever it may be - with grace and patience. That my children continue to thrive and my husband knows how much I love and appreciate him. Here's to a better day tomorrow.

No more waiting....

What a productive day we had today!!! We had our run this morning, a great breakfast and then off to our doctor's appointment for Gracie. Before Gracie can get her VISA to enter the United States, she has to have all her vaccinations - there are only 3 doctors that are approved through the Embassy - so I made an appointment with the first one on the list. We all arrived and were disappointed when we got there - we brought our interpreter, Freddy with us and apparently I had misunderstood the receptionist when I made the appointment. I had to have Gracie's passport before I could see the doctor - this is a long and pointless story but the bottom line is that I could not understand the woman on the phone and albeit, I kept saying "please talk slowly my Spanish is not good" she continued to rattle a million words a minute. So we decided to leave that office and go to doctor #2 on the list. We called our lawyer Nubia and she made an appointment for us and worked out a great deal for us...good job Nubia!!

Gracie had to get 2 shots and right before the doctor gave them to her - she looked up at me and said "I'm sorry Mommy". It broke my heart. I did my best to explain to her that she didn't do anything wrong but these were to keep her healthy. Little bug!! I had to hold her face to look at me and we started to sing her favorite song (yes, Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow) to keep her mind off of what was going on. She didn't cry and was very proud of herself.

When we went to the waiting room to get the girls...Gracie started to tell them how brave she was and Lucie burst out crying. For heavens sake, right? When I asked her what was wrong she told me that she wasn't brave because she always cries when she gets shots. I wanted to say "that's right...you are a big baby and still suck your thumb" but instead (remember, Mother of the year) I said "you are so brave and you are the one who has taught Gracie to be so brave and look how good she did!" I'm good...right?!?!

So it was off to McDonalds for a celebration (not my idea but they have a great play area for the kids) - we then had our friends drop us off at the mall to do a little present shopping. Seriously, what do you get the people you love who have supported you through this entire process? I am at a loss - shopping didn't really help either. If you have any ideas....please let me know. We spent a couple of hours there and headed home.

I went to the office to speak to our landlord - told them that we will be checking out on the 12th - worked out our payments and made an appointment for our final walk through of the house. I also made reservations at a hotel that is across the street from the airport for our final night (12th) in Nicaragua. Exciting!!!

So tomorrow - we head to Immigration for Gracie's passport. Apparently, they have stopped making passports (on the front page of the newspaper yesterday) because they have ran out of materials....they claim it will be December before they make any more....only in Nicaragua. So tomorrow should be quite interesting.

We are making progress and having fun along the way...we will be home in a week and this being productive stuff is AWESOME. I have spent the majority of my time in this country...waiting...now I am actually doing things and seeing a clear path home. I LOVE IT!!!

It's official...Gracie is ours!!!

I survived today with only 1 pill! I took that right before we left when I realized that the dress Lucie was wearing showed her new temporary tattoo. It is right on her chest and it's a huge cockroach!! So attractive. I scrubbed her until her skin was red and she started to cry....so opted to put a little cover up on it so the colors of blue, green and black didn't show up as much!!

What a GREAT day!! And of course, as expected it was full of laughs and tears. We left the house at 7:00 AM with our friends, The Tomczak's in tow... It took us about an hour to get there and then we waited another 30 minutes for our lawyer to show up...which she did!! Yes!! We headed to the court house right on time for our 8:30 appointment.

The court house was nothing like I expected. How long do I have to live here to understand that what I think things should be like is definitely NOT how Nicaragua is!! The court house was an old building (I mean about to fall down) with 2 chairs, an open office, no air conditioning, and several employees. The judge was there but the 2nd in comand, not sure what his title is, had not shown up yet. So we waited. After about 30 minutes, Gracie started to hold her private area (working on that) and telling me she had to go to the bathroom. We were given instructions as to where it was and I started to worry as we headed towards the end of the building. The bathroom light didn't work - so we had to keep the door open. There was no toilet paper and the toilet wouldn't flush so we added to what was already deposited there - I know, eeewww!! I pulled out my tissue and then my anti-bacterial wipes and we were set!! When there are only 2 chairs and 4 kids, that's a problem. As soon as one child sits, the other one HAS to as well. Thank goodness my pill was working and I kept a cool head and continueD to work out this issue with time constraints for each child.

We waited about 1 1/2 hours before our guy showed up and then they called our name to go see the judge. Again, no court room, no black robe, and 2 chairs. I really wanted all my girls to experience this (what in the world was I thinking and when will I learn?!?!?!) so we all piled in - me, Gracie, Scarlett, Lucie, Freddy (translator), Nubia (lawyer), her son (lawyer assistant) and a representative from the Consejo.

The judge was checking everyone's name and had to make a correction to our form to include both Lucie and Scarlett - so as we were waiting, the judge started to ask Gracie some questions.
I had been prepared for this - I was told that the questions would include; Do you love your Mommy? What is your name? Do you love your sisters - your Daddy? Do you want to live in the United States? Well, for whatever reason, the judge didn't ask any of these questions but only one question...."Martita, do you know any words in English?" She shook her head "yes" and he asked "what words do you know?" Gracie started to smile and started singing....yes, SINGING the song from the movie Annie "Tomorrow, tomorrow I love you, tomorrow, your only a day away...." Well, everyone started to laugh, which just encouraged our little singer to continue (did I mention that Gracie sings about as well as Lucie dances?!!??). So she took a deep breath and belted out "Tomorrow..." and then she farted....(yes, you are reading this correctly) and loudly!!! Lucie immediately yelled "Oh no, Martita farted!!!" She plugged her nose with her hand and waved the other one in front of her face. Now to Lucie's defense, historically this is what we all do when Martita passes gas but I looked at her and said "Lucie, sssshhhh" and she replied "Mommy, nobody here speaks English except Freddy". Well, of course Freddy translated it all and I attempted to explain that plugging your nose and waving your hand is pretty universal in all languages....I think the word "fart" is also pretty universal. Well, we had the room hysterically laughing. I had completely given up at this point and enjoyed the moment with everyone else!!!

Our form was revised and the judge explained to me that when you adopt a child from Nicaragua their records are completely destroyed and it is as if she was born into my family. He explained that it was important to continue to tell Gracie about her heritage - to give her a positive image of Nicaragua. He then told me "Congratulations, Grace Martita Grimes is officially your child".... I started to cry and then hugged and kissed the judge (I'm a touchy feel kind of girl) and kept crying and thanking everyone. Three years, almost to the date and she is finally OURS!!!

Our friends, The Tomczak's went in after we finished - their Jonathon is quite the character - he too acted up, as did our girls and when they finished the judge told Jason that Lucie and Jonathon are two peas in a pod (or the Nicaraguan version) and we all laughed and agreed. We all signed the documents and we were beaming!! It was 3:00 by the time we got home and it has been a LONG and WONDERFUL day!!

I have received so many calls from our friends here congratulating us - it brings tears to my eyes that I have found so many dear and precious friends here. God is great!! This has been a rough road...a long one... but I have had so many blessings throughout this process. I also have so many congratulations from our friends and family back home....the support and love I have had through this process is AMAZING!!!

My husband booked our tickets today and we are going home in 9 days!!! Just enough time to finish all our paperwork, pack and say "good bye" - Why does it always seem that time can move so slowly towards a goal and then when it gets close, it flies by? As my husband said to me today "Love, you can now see the finish line" - he's right and I am so ready to cross over!!!

Susanna's new career....

I had a difficult time sleeping last night - nervous about the next few days. It is bringing back all the past years of submitting paperwork, never having the "new and updated" form they need, not liking my translation and having new requirements...urgh. I kept thinking, "what am I missing?" So looking forward to getting the next few days finished so I know we have everything we need.

I woke up early and started going through paperwork - checking and re-checking. When the girls got up - they all smelled like Lysol. Apparently one of them had a smelly #2 and the girls went crazy with the spray. Not a good smell first thing in the morning - ;) (I "guess" better than the alternative!!) We went for our run and had some time at the pool - we haven't been there since Allie was with us. There was nobody else there - so we had some relaxing time. Gracie used to be a good swimmer - for whatever reason, she is more and more afraid of the pool!! She cries every time we encourage her to swim and a few times I wanted to stick her head under the water so I couldn't hear her crying (is that a bad thing? Don't judge me!!)

I talked to my friend Jason about 20 times today - we are trying to work out all the details of the next couple of days. I had to call and make the doctor's appts for both Gracie and Jonathon - of course, the receptionist didn't speak any English but we got through it. I don't know if my Spanish is improving or the tolerance around me is increasing....either way, I am making it work!!

Tomorrow is our court date!! I am still in shock!! We have our clothes picked out - camera charged and I am bringing every piece of paperwork I ever submitted - so if they ask me for something....I'm prepared. They are asking us to bring our passports and $625 - nothing else. The court is in another city - about an hour drive from here and depending on how backed-up the court house is that day - we are expected to wait about 3 hours before our case is heard. Our lawyer told us that last month - the judge didn't show so she had to drive around the city to find him and bring him to court!! Only in Nicaragua. So we have the DS's all charges, snacks galore and I am definitely taking one of my little pills (maybe 2) to get me through the day!! (Again, no judging)!!

We went to the orphanage today and picked the older girls up to go see "My sisters' keeper" - there was a total of 12 of us in 1 cab!! We left when the girls were out of school and didn't realize it was during rush hour traffic when we left - so it was a very LONG drive to the mall!! Mucho traffico!! We had dinner at the food court and shared stories and laughed - it was a lot of fun. We want to do a few more excursions with the kids before we leave. Love spending time with them.

On Sunday when our cab driver Norman, picked us up from church - he brought his wife, Susanna with him. She only spent about 30 minutes at the orphanage but fell in love with all the children. She has had issues having babies and longs for children in her life. She told me that she wants to work at the orphanage. She doesn't want to be paid - she just wants to help!! Now this is a family who is struggling - they have a very small house and have a difficult time to make ends meet - Susanna just started a new job on Monday (the day after she was at the orphanage) a paying job in an office that she has been trying to get for a long time. I talked to Maria Jose - the director at the orphanage - and explained what Susanna wanted to do - Norman and Maria Jose had a long talk and I just learned this evening that Susanna starts work at the orphanage this Wednesday. This has such impact on me - I just know this will change their lives.... bring them happiness they haven't had.... some day, maybe adopt a child....amazing how God works, right?!?!? These are the moments that I feel that being here has made an impact - I don't know to what extent, but feel it is significant!!

So it's late, and I am heading to bed - I am SURE that tomorrow will be a day of adventure - stay tuned for details. Have a great day tomorrow and God bless!!

2 weeks to go!!!

I have been cursed with blog issues!! I attempted to blog two nights ago and the electricity went out for 6 hours!! Then last night, I was almost finished with my blog...and the power went out again!! I was hoping it had posted...but no such luck. Sorry for the delay, but I'm back!!

The last couple of days have been busy. When the electricity goes out here - which is often - it reminds me of the conveniences I "do" have here and take for granted. Such as lights, fans, the microwave!! I was cooking dinner for the girls when the electricity went out. Immediately, there is a panic amongst my girls....when will it come back on Mommy? How will we see? Eat dinner? How can we sleep? Panic!! So I went through the house and lit candles - opened all the windows and prayed that soon the lights would come back on. I warmed mac and cheese in the oven with some chicken fingers and was told by the girls' how "rico" "yummy" dinner was. This always amazes me - the times I spend an hour in the kitchen cooking chicken and vegetables, I have to force my children to eat...but mac and cheese and chicken fingers....always a hit!!

We didn't get the electricity back on until 11:30 PM!! I was asleep and awoke with all the lights coming on and the fans....so at least the majority of the night, we slept in comfort!!

We experienced a very unique dinner the night before. Tim has been asking our cab driver, Norman about Iguana. It is considered a delicacy here. We see them running around all the time - ran over one before but to EAT it?!?! This is where I am very different from my husband - he wanted to try this and see what it tasted like - I, on the other hand, don't need or want that experience. Norman - such a sweet friend to us, and wanting to please Tim, bought, killed and cooked Iguana. His wife Susanna had made Iguana stew and brought it over for us to eat. She made home made tortillas and the stew looked really good (especially if it didn't have Iguana in it) so of course, my husband dug in. He immediately started to rant and rave about how good it was - there was no escape, I had to try it. So I put some on a tortilla and took my first bite. I actually had a bone in my mouth and at this point, I was finished experimenting!! I started to push my food around on my plate and then my little savior, Gracie came over and said "Yum Iguana" and I fed her the rest of my food!! Tim came over to my plate and looked at the bones and informed me that I had the rib cage of the Iguana.....eeeeewwwww!! Everyone said it tasted like chicken.....not so much for me!!

My husband went home Saturday morning - early. I have been in a daze ever since. I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that we are going home in 2 weeks!! Isn't it funny how sometimes it can take days for things to actually sink in? This is a very big event for us - we have been living here for 3 months and we are surrounded by people we love. It is a process for me to say "goodbye". There are places I still want to go to - people I want to spend time with and things we want to do before we leave. I know this time will fly by and I want to be sure to get as much in as I can!!

We went to church yesterday and made some plans with Maria Jose and the kids. Leaving these children will be so difficult!! Every time I go to Puente de Amistad, I am greeted with hugs and stories. They ALL hold such a special place in my heart. Being here, in Nicaragua, has given me the opportunity to take care of them - to know how each one of them is doing - to see them often - that all changes when I go home. This is, of course, the hardest thing for me. I always strive to make sure that each child knows that I love them - cherish them. So for the next few days - I will take time to tell each one how I feel and let them know I will be praying for them. I know the question will be, "when are you coming back?" This is difficult to answer - I have no desire today to return anytime soon. But I think, that after some time, I will feel differently. Lucie asked me yesterday "Mommy, I want to come back after we leave. In 2 or 3 months and want to stay for 1 week and then go back home"!! ;) I think she is afraid that we will be stuck here...I share that sentiment. But after some time, I too will be asking when I can come back. So for now, the answer is "I don't know....".

So today starts the "next to last" week here in Nicaragua - we have dinner with the girls from the orphanage tonight - court date tomorrow - Gracie has 2 doctor appointments on Wednesday - Thursday is our party at the orphanage and Friday, we are hoping to head to Granada for one last time and eat at Kathy's Waffle House. It's a busy week and I know as time goes on, it will get even busier. We have a lot of paperwork to attend to and appointments, it will be crazy busy! But when I think of having my girls and I HOME....I know this will all be worth it!!

San Juan de Paradise

What an awesome week we have had! So much to tell you all - I really missed blogging while I was away but hope I don't miss any of the juicy details!! I will give it my best shot!

My husband arrived on Sunday night - as you all know, we spent Monday at the hair dresser and then we started to make plans to go to San Juan del Sur. This is a place that everyone talks about - beautiful beaches, great shopping etc.. So I wanted to visit there before we left and of course, wanted my husband with us. So because we were waiting for our court date...this was the perfect time for us.

We researched some hotels on the Internet - not knowing anything about where to stay...we just looked at criteria that was important to us - we wanted pools, close to the beach and a hotel with a restaurant/bar, so we could possibly steal some time away from the kids (that didn't happen but hey, it "could" have!!). So we decided on a resort called "Piedras y Olas" which translates to "The Pelicans eyes". We made reservations, called our lawyer to tell her we would be gone and then booked our cab driver....we were all set.

We left early in the morning and albeit, I thought we had plenty of time...we were running around trying to get all our stuff in the car and get on our way. Hectic!! Scarlett is always such a big help to me - packing for the girls and herself so when we arrived and realized the girls' didn't have swim suits AND the bag containing all the electronics (DVD, DS's) was left behind...Scarlett was extremely apologetic.

As we were arriving, we saw a bunch of houses on the hill side and Norman said "Wow, look at those homes!!" and I thought how wonderful it would be to stay there.....well, that's where we stayed!!! GORGEOUS casitas lined up on a hill side, over-looking the Pacific ocean...breath-taking!! We checked in, unpacked and then headed straight for the pool. We of course, were the center of attention due to the fact that my children were swimming in their clothes and were completely loud and obnoxious. Seriously, how many times do I have to explain what keeping a low profile means?

Well, as my children were swimming and disrupting anyone else who was at the pool...my husband and I laid out on some VERY comfortable chaise lounges - in our swimsuits and pretended to not know the orphans swimming in their clothes!! My husband had ordered me a drink and when the cabana boy brought over my Mango Margarita to me....my response was "Shut up"!!! I then looked at Tim and said "I have been living in a hell hole for three months!!" Now, I don't know if I am communicating this effectively but Tim says I was having a "episode" or a "exorcism"!! All the time I have been here, living with ants crawling up my legs when I try to pee, not drinking because I'm afraid of the ice, laying on plastic broken chairs at our local pool and making all my own food because I'm afraid of how things are cleaned and cooked....all escaped me in one moment. One moment of bliss. A Spanish speaking Cabana boy, a yummy drink, the sun, looking at the ocean and having my very handsome husband laying right next to me....bliss!!

Well, we laughed about this for a long time and continued to enjoy the sun and drinks. We had a wonderful, delicious dinner at the restaurant and the girls were almost as happy as we were (lack of electronics takes a couple of days to get used to). We went back to our gorgeous home and put the girls to bed....when they were all tucked in, Tim and I decided to sit out on our private patio - outside our bedroom to enjoy the view and peace and quiet. We were talking and relaxing when the wind kicked up a little and our door to the patio closed shut. We looked at each other and I said "Well, we better be sure we aren't locked out"!! So with a big smile on his face, Tim got up to check the door...smile gone!!!

Seriously, why do these things happen to us? We tried the door a few times and yes, still locked. So Tim called Scarlett's name a couple of times (their bedroom was right below ours on the first floor) but we didn't get any response. So we started looking at our options. There was a tile roof that Tim could climb out on - but only by holding onto a pipe that did not look or feel very sturdy. I envisioned him falling and having to spend the rest of my San Juan del Sur experience at a Nicaraguan hospital and grabbed my beer bottle and started banging on the wall and SCREAMING for Scarlett!! No response.

Well Tim decided he could climb down (he used to climb mountains you know) and save us from spending the night on rocking chairs....he put one leg over the banister....hit his cajones....grunted and brought his leg right back over on the patio. So now I'm thinking, maybe it would be easier for me to do it, when all of a sudden...Lucie walks into our bedroom...Scarlett walking in behind her... looking for us!! I started to bang on the door and she let us in!!! Saved by Lucie!!

Lucie was very upset at this point - she explained that Scarlett had heard her name being called and woke her up asking "Hey Lucie - do you hear that?" Lucie says "yes" and then they were both afraid that someone they didn't know - is calling her name?!?!?! Lucie gets the courage to leave her bedroom (Scarlett safely behind her) and explores the house trying to find where the voices are coming from - when she gets to our bedroom door, she starts knocking (she didn't want to interrupt our "sexy time" she calls it...yes, she is well trained) and finally enters to find us stranded on the balcony. So after a lot of hugs and reassurance, my children went back to sleep and we unlocked every door in the house!!!

After spending the night in this beautiful place, we decided to extend our stay from 2 nights to 3 - we had to go home after 3 nights, because Tim was leaving for home early Saturday morning - We started our 2nd day with a horse ride on the beach!! We were picked up at the hotel after a lovely breakfast in a jeep and made our way into town. It was short ride and soon we were all on our horses and ready to go. Gracie rode with me, Tim on his own, Scarlett on her own, and Lucie was led by one of the guides. We did a little trotting, but mostly walked and enjoyed the ride. We saw some monkeys in trees, a lot of locals and ended up on the beach. It was awesome and everyone felt a little more secure with horses by the time we finished. We were all sore however, so when Lucie asked to ride again tomorrow - we all decided to try some other excursions!!

We ventured into town after our ride to purchase some bathing suits for the girls...I was afraid they may not "want" us to stay another night if we didn't. We found some right away and then explored for awhile. San Juan del Sur has a lot of surfing shops, many hotels and still a lot of locals. We saw lots of kids attending school, merchants and boats. It is really a good mix of local customs and tourism. Having the resort to stay in and eat at, really gave us some of the luxuries we have missed so dearly. I felt comfortable eating salads and vegetables - the chef was amazing and we so enjoyed all our meals.

My husband had booked a massage for me - so I left the girls' in his care and went to the Casita Traquila for my massage. It was FABULOUS and cost me $40 for an hour!! I walked back to the restaurant to purchase a couple of beers to bring back to our house and met the owner of the resort (Chris, very nice guy and great story). A big group of people were checking in who were on their last night of their mission trip. They were building a school - assisting some of the locals and were ready to shower and have a good dinner. This resort has a lot of guest who are missionaries. They also take a good percentage of their revenues and support the community. They employ 250 locals - give back to the schools and support the local charities. They are really making a difference in this community.

I headed back to the casita to check on my family - Due to the lack of electronics, Tim had to be creative with the time he had with the girls. The electricity went out, so there was no TV and he decided to play "Nicaraguan games" with Lucie and Scarlett while Gracie was napping (thank goodness she was not included in this). "Nicaraguan games" included balancing clothes on your head and walking up stairs and touching the bedroom door and back down again....whoever was the fastest won and if you dropped anything...5 second penalty. Now when I hear how my husband spent his "quality" time with our children, I begin to understand why all the things that happen to us, happen to us!! We deserve them!!! ;) They had a blast together and I had some AWESOME relaxation time to myself.

We spent more time exploring the resort - they had a animal rescue habitation with monkeys and albeit I told all my children (including the 49 year old son I have who acts 10 most of the time) NOT to touch the monkeys... they were petting them, hugging them and didn't want to leave them!! We also adopted a kitty cat while we were there. We were feeding him at our meals, he slept at our house and jumped on my lap every chance he had. We met some great people, had fabulous food and drink and did NOT want to leave. It was the best time!!

San Juan de Paradise was a slice of heaven for us all.....

The Latino Hair dresser

Yesterday was a day of fun for us...a great day for me! I have been waiting for my husband to get here so I could go do SOMETHING with my hair. It has been way too long since I have colored it and I was looking pretty bad!! So my friend, Michele had used a guy at the mall, MetroCentro, and she was very happy with the results. So with his card in hand, we left for the mall first thing in the morning.

I had told my girlfriend Sue, that this was my plan. Having Tim here would allow me the time to get it done and I was excited. Sue, the good friend that she is, warned me that the Latino hair dresser "may not" know how to handle thin, fine blond hair and could leave the color on too long and burn it!! She suggested my husband do it but first of all, there was no blond color at the grocery store and secondly, this is a task my husband had never done before and with our luck, wouldn't turn out well. Then I would look bad AND be mad at my husband. ;) So I opted to try the latino hair dresser!!

The man my friend Michele suggested, wasn't working but there was a woman, Dory who "knew how" to highlight. There was a guy behind the counter who spoke pretty good English and we struggled through a conversation of what I wanted. Yes, I was a little nervous at this point. I ended the conversation by saying how different my hair is....it doesn't need a lot of time for color...much less than most of your clients. Everyone was shaking their head - the universal language for "yes, we understand". So my wonderful husband took my noisy children away to return an hour later when I was finished.

Dory was much slower than my hairdresser, Sandy back home. She took a lot of time putting the foil in my hair...I thought, "she's going to have to wash my hair as soon as she's finished!!" Her phone kept ringing and she was talking on it the entire time while she was doing my hair - this is quite the task since you have to use two hands to do foil and you need to FOCUS so you put on the right amount of color!! When she finished, she whispered to me (not to disturb the person she was talking to on the phone) "un pocito" or "just a minute" and left!!

I kept telling myself...."Lesa, you have been waiting so long to get your hair done...this is your time to relax...so relax....she knows what she's doing...she is a professional.....of course, she is paying attention....burning hair is cause for termination, etc.." I kept looking at my watch and about 10 minutes later, she showed up...off the phone and I took a deep breath to relax. She checked a few foils and AGAIN said "un pocito" - so I told her again that my hair is very different and doesn't need a lot of time...she shook her head and smiled and left!! Another 10 minutes go by and by now I'm thinking that I'm going to pull the foils out myself and wash my own hair, who cares if they think I'm a crazy gringo....I'll never see them again!!! Dory shows up, is satisfied with how everything looks and starts to take my foils out.

I was then led to the sink where another lady washed my hair with WARM WATER - It felt incredible...she had me so relaxed, I was loving it. Then, she called Dory over and they started to ramble in Spanish - very quickly and I couldn't pick up a word and all of a sudden I panicked, "Please God - tell me that I don't have lice"!!! Well, everyone kept smiling at me....good sign and then they were telling me that they were putting some extra conditioner on me...whew!! So I sat back and enjoyed every moment!!! Who cares if my hair is burnt....this feels so so good!!!

Dory then put me back in the chair and started to comb it out - all my hair looked in tact, I couldn't tell what the color was, but again was enjoying being pampered! She cut my bangs (they were so long) and trimmed the ends - she then blow dried my hair and it was GORGEOUS!!! She dried my hair straight and it was so healthy looking and blond (no more dark brown roots and grey!!!) My family was very complementary and I was one happy camper!!

We met our cab driver to go home and he kept staring at me - he said "muy differente" - very different and when I got in the back seat, he adjusted his rear view mirror so he could get a better look. My husband was laughing and commenting to Norman about how good my hair looked!! ;) Come on Norman, don't be making these comments IN FRONT of my husband, right?!?!? ;)

We met our friends, Jason, Michele and Jonathon for dinner at a great Italian restaurant - had a great time!! Jonathon always reminds us that boys are so different than girls...in every way!! He makes us laugh and we love our friends.

We are now packing for our trip to San Juan del Sur. It is a gorgeous beach/resort that is very close to Costa Rica. We have heard many wonderful things about it and we are very excited to be able to see it!! We booked a room with an ocean view - they have AC, two restaurants and three pools...sounds awesome!! So we are off on another adventure - awaiting news on our court date but our lawyer seems to think it will be towards the end of the week before we hear anything - So two nights stay at San Juan del Sur!! I will blog when I get home and let you all know how it was.

Have an awesome week - love and blessings to you all!!!

Are we truly making an impact?

I am doing MUCH better today!! Sunday's are always spirit lifting for me. We went to the orphanage - and we have not been there for a few days, so it was so good to see the kids. Our friend, Alyson is back. She is originally from Atlanta - she is 23 years old, has such a heart for missions - she is a true inspiration for us all. She spent a few weeks in the Dominic Republic and just returned to Nicaragua - so we had some time with her - catching up - hearing about the kids she met. Many were former gang members, and young girls who were prostitutes who are now changing their lives AND the lives of other children by sharing their stories and trying to make a difference. Alyson said it gives her hope to see what they are doing - hope that maybe... we are making a true impact on the kids here in Nicaragua.

It is very difficult sometimes to love these kids - you get so close to them and as always, situations change. They go back to their families and continue to be abused, they become beggars and prostitutes and thieves....some change while they still live in the orphanage - they become "hard" due to their circumstances. It is understandable, all of it, really. They have to form a defense against the pain they feel when the people they love, disappoint them., leave them, abandon them.

It's not always the case....many have been adopted and we are all hopeful for their bright future. This is of course, is very close to my heart. But we often think that loving these kids will change their lives and sometimes...it doesn't. I think of Alberto and his struggles - the potential he had and the sad family life he returned to - but now he has a second chance to finish school and to start over. I pray that his future is a bright one.

One of my favorite children (I know I shouldn't have favorites but I do!!) Esaul - he is 4 years old and so articulate. He is always saying "Lesa, Lesa, mire" (watch me) and does the funniest things! He has a beautiful smile and I am crazy about him. I haven't seen him for a few days and was so happy to see his smiling face. He got up at church today and sang a solo in front of the crowd!! He did a GREAT job and I took lots of pictures and some video. I know he knows how much I love him and how proud I am of him...I hope this will make a difference in his life!

One thing I know for sure, is that these children are making a difference in MY life!! They bring me such joy and make me feel so close to God. Their hugs, stories, challenges and laughter move me more than I could ever express. They show me that we are all the same - that love is really all that matters.

I also see a change in my children - how they love the kids at Puente de Amistad - how they talk to them, interact with them and learn from them. When Allie first came here two years ago, she had a life changing experience - one that I feel, has helped make her the person she is today. I see it in both Scarlett and Lucie as well. These children have impacted my entire family.

We picked up my husband tonight from the airport. He actually surprised us...since his flight got in early!! So so happy to see him. It is a feeling of comfort and joy to kiss him and hold him. The girls are all telling stories at the same time...trying to catch him up on what's been going on. They were singing songs that Gracie knows in the cab ride home and it felt so good to have us all together again.

We have almost an entire week with my husband - so we are making some plans. We are hoping to hear about our court date by mid-week, so we may go to San Juan del Sur for the next couple of days - it's a tough time because we don't want to be too far away if we are needed, but want to make the most of our time with him as well.

So today was much better - today, I enjoyed my children and all the children at the orphanage. Being a Mom today was a blessing to me.

Here's to tomorrow...

Today was one of those days when I didn't want to read any more books to my children, do anyone's hair, tie any shoes, make any more meals, or clean up after anyone!! Today was a day that I was short-tempered, sad, and angry. I don't know what happened to make me lose it today but I did. I told the girls that I was tired of being dumped on and taken advantage of and I needed some alone time!! That alone time lasted for about 5 minutes and it wasn't long enough. I kept telling myself that my husband will be here shortly, I will be home soon and all will be well. But sometimes, no matter what I say to myself.....it doesn't help!

I killed my normal 100 bugs today - Lucie still wasn't feeling well and I am so ready to go home. I thought I was doing so well....thinking how close we are to the finish, but today...not a good day.

We went for our run this morning and it started to rain on us - I know Scarlett was thinking.."great, we're finished" but I kept running and didn't speak to her the entire time. I kept thinking that soon, I would feel better. I would feel refreshed..but no, didn't happen. We finished our run and came home and I got a Skype from my dear friend, Sue. I wasn't going to answer initially because I thought I was not in the mood to be nice to anyone - but I did and am so glad. Sue always makes me laugh and she is such a good listener. It was exactly what I needed at the time. I miss my girl friends...all of them....so much!! I miss being able to talk about life and hear about what's going on with them - I miss the bonding.

Our conversation was cut short because Lucie wasn't feeling well - and we were back in the bathroom and Lucie was very upset. She is tired of being sick and I am tired of worrying about her. She didn't get sick after all and ended up taking a long nap and feeling much better when she woke up. My husband thinks she has a parasite...he is probably right. O.K. - as tough as this experience has been, we have been blessed with good health until this point and I want that to continue. You never do appreciate the blessings, until they are taken away. So having my girl wake up, happy and healthy was my saving grace.

The girls' knew I wasn't having a good day and played very well together. Gracie is learning to play by herself....which is a new experience for her. Scarlett was a very good helper to me - cleaning the dishes and rubbing my feet!! ;) We had a much better afternoon than we had in the morning.

Now the girls are in bed, I am watching a movie and relaxing with a couple of beers!! My husband will be here tomorrow night and I won't have to sleep alone for another week!! I made it through the day and tomorrow will be better.

I know that I am not Wonder Woman and I will have days like today but it's very hard for me to handle. Feeling sorry for myself and wishing something (like I want to be home now) that I know I can't have makes me feel weak and vulnerable...not feelings I like to have. This has truly been a roller coaster ride for me in so many ways...I can't appreciate the good without the bad - but the bad is not fun and I am so ready to get to the top of the mountain and not be in the valley anymore.

So here's to tomorrow - a day of happiness, a day of rejoice, a day of knowing how blessed I am and enjoying every moment!!

Our final trip to Las Cardones

Las Cardones beach was a lot of fun...it went by very quickly and of course, was full of funny moments. Again, my family is wacky and laughs at about everything!! This trip, it was just me and the girls...no friends, no Allie and no hubby. So I was a little worried about entertaining all three on my own! We always go directly to the beach - right after we put all our stuff in our casita. This time, we stayed in the "Suite"! This is the best casita at Las Cardones - it sits on the beach - so from your room, you see the ocean - hear the waves and feel the cool breeze - it is breath-taking. I, wanted to sit in the rocking chair and take a couple of breaths but the girls were anxious to get on the beach...relaxation, had to wait!

The ocean was a brownish/bronze color. I had never seen that before. I kept asking everyone I saw..."what's up with the beach?" The only logical answer I received is that it was an algae issue!! All us girls looked at each other and said "Daddy needs to be here"!! ;) We also saw a dead dolphin on the beach, so we ventured down the beach to where the ocean was white and spent our time there!!

We arrived with 2 DVD players, 2 DS's (both fully charges), coloring books, school books and Sudoku. But once I convinced the girls that it was now "relaxation time" - within 20 minutes... they were (yes, you guessed it) bored!!! So I tucked each one into a hammock, myself included and had a good half hour of bliss!!

Our time went by quickly and soon it was time for showers and dinner. This has been a challenge for us, due to the crabs coming out at night but because we had all conquered that feat last time, we were much more brave this time!! There were still a few screams when a crab ran out in front of us, but the volume was much lower!! We still were afraid to go to the out-house at night and had to use the shower but hey, not too bad for 4 girls on their own!!

Whatever Lucie had, I think I caught. I didn't sleep well and had an upset stomach - but woke up feeling glad to be at the beach. We had a great breakfast, another long walk/swim and shell shopping before it was time to pack up - shower and have lunch. Both Lucie and Gracie didn't eat well and I was a little concerned. We had a scare with Gracie at dinner the previous night - she was "inhaling" her spaghetti and started to choke...I told her to raise her arms up and as soon as she did, she let our the loudest and deepest burp I have ever heard. I actually thought she was about to get sick and rushed her from the dining area (yes, we were again the center of attention...not very appetizing) to a sandy section a few feet away - holding her head down and telling Scarlett to keep the flashlight on me (this keeps the crabs away or at least let's you know they are about to crawl over your feet) and waited for Gracie to get sick. She kept looking at me strangely, I am sure she was thinking that her Mom is overacting slightly, to a burp at dinner!! Scarlett was laughing so hard, she was crying and I too, had the giggles!!

Well, Gracie never did get sick but my Lucie did AGAIN on the way home from the beach. This time I was prepared, I continuously asked her how she was feeling and when she finally said "not so good" - Norman skidded to a stop that about gave me whip-lash (poor guy) and I got her out of the cab. I then got one of our beach buckets out of the trunk for her to hold...this was definitely one of my brightest moments. I sat next to her the rest of the way home...I got an anti-bacterial wipe from my purse..it was cold and wet...and kept rubbing her forehead with it - I told her this is what my Mom used to do for me when I wasn't feeling well and Lucie replied "I miss Grandma".... Little bug!! So do I!! We were very close to home when Lucie finally lost her cookies - thank goodness because my stomach wasn't doing too well...especially when she kept looking in the bucket and "examining" the contents (she so get's that from her father).

So we are settled...Lucie is completely herself again and I am chalking it all up to car sickness!! We are not allowed to be sick!! Especially since my husband will be here on Sunday!! So it's vitamins, naps and staying home tomorrow. I am actually really looking forward to a day with nothing to do!!

Our declarations were delivered this morning to the court house...so we are hoping to hear about our court date next week - I hope we get some great news while my husband is here so he can celebrate with us...hey, we may celebrate EVEN IF we don't get any good news next week!! I know I already said this on my last blog - but all is well with me when my husband is here and I am so looking forward to having him with us!!

Happy Weekend my loved ones!!! I hope you are all healthy and enjoy your family time...Love and Blessings to you all!!!

Catching up.....

So sorry I haven't blogged the last two nights...we have lost our power two nights in a row and there is no Internet and some hot, sweaty, cranky girls to handle (including myself)!! So let me get you up to speed.

First, Lucie is feeling great! She was sick for the day and then throughout the night but woke up very hungry...she ate two pieces of french toast, had a big lunch AND dinner. She was fearless and obviously completely cured. ;) So we laid low that day - stayed in the house and the girls caught up on their sleep and I caught up on all my paperwork - I think we all needed that day.

Yesterday was productive for us...we had lunch with our friends The Tomczak's at one of our favorite places (they serve hummus and delicious drinks) - we then went to Mi Familia to pick up our declarations. Our declarations are a letter that states we have been officially approved through Mi Familia and this document (along with our birth certificates and marriage certificates) is presented to the court. Our lawyer confirms this will be presented today - and then the judge reviews our case file and sets a court date!

We had to run around a get a couple of signatures on the documents - and then met with our lawyer. Our lawyer, Nubia has been a disappointment to us in many ways. Every time I meet with her - she will give me worst-case scenarios, never commits to anything and I usually feel worse than before I saw her! She has also been sick for many weeks - this of course, has effected her timeliness on many things. So we started the meeting - asking about her health and if we needed to change lawyers to move forward. We are concerned about her and about our cases! She assured us that she was fine and the worst was over and that she was dedicated to getting our adoptions finalized. She also told us that it is possible to have us home within 20 days - she told us she had done this for some other clients. She didn't make any promises but it sounds very positive that we will be home in about a month!!! YYYEEESSS!!! So now, it's more waiting, more calling to check on status - but we are making progress!!

My children sat at a different table the entire time we were meeting with Nubia - they were so well behaved!! It was a blessing!! I must admit, I questioned if these kids were truly mine!!! Did I give them Tylenol PM and not remember it? Their behavior had me relaxed and at ease - it was the best meeting I have ever had with our lawyer - I have such peace in my heart right now....I know I am coming home soon and it feels so good!!

We got home around 7:00 PM - so I rushed to feed my kids and then Skype my husband - we got to talk to Allie too!! We miss her so much - going to the beach without her, seems strange and we wish she was going with us!! We caught up on what's she doing...it's a long story with lots of details but our oldest WANTS to go back to school!! We are very happy about this and have given her a few tasks to prepare for it and she was at the house talking to her Dad about all the details....I think she is very serious about doing well and I am so excited about her future. Exciting!!

Allie has had so many struggles in her life - she was 10 when her Dad got divorced - she was an only child and now she has to share her Dad with 4 other women!! She struggled in school and got her heart broke in High School. Many, many challenges and then look at the woman she is becoming!! She is truly one of the most loving people I know. She is finding her way and doing so with grace and love. She LOVES being a part of our family and she makes us all complete. I am very proud of our girl!!!

My husband gave us some GREAT news...he is coming on Sunday and staying until the following Saturday. This is the longest visit yet and we are making some fun plans with him. Having my husband here makes it so much easier for me - I have my partner to talk to, someone else to help with the kids and of course, I sleep so much better when he is here!! Yeah!!! I won't give any more details of what I enjoy when he is here....his Mom reads my blog (Hi MeMe) but you all catch my drift!! ;) I'm a happy girl!!!

So we are leaving this morning for another overnight trip to Las Cordones. Just me and the girls and I am excited!! More time on the beach - more shells to collect and time to get away from Managua and relax!! We all love the beach and it will be a fun couple of days. Bringing our tennis shoes this time and prepared for the invasion of the crabs....

Wishing you all a great couple of days...I will blog when we return...tomorrow night. Love and Blessings...

Today was a day that was so calm and peaceful that I thought "what in the world will I be able to blog about tonight?" When will I learn NOT to ask that question?!?!? ;)

We started our day as usual, with a run and then spent a little time at the pool - we visited with some friends and then went home for lunch, a quick shower and Norman picked us up at 1:00 for my nail appointment. This is the 2nd time since I've been in Nicaragua, that I have gotten my nails done. This is a big sacrifice for me... The nail place I found is so different than the ones in the states...there's no fancy instruments (like nail clippers, cleaners or dryers) - you basically get them filed, filled in and one coat of paint and your finished - so albeit, it is not what I am used to...it gets me by while I'm here.

Anyways, I just finished getting my nails done and we had one more stop, the grocery store on the way home. The girls were so well behaved (this, in retrospect should have been my first clue that something wasn't right). Lucie asked me if we were going home but I explained we needed groceries but would be going home right after.

As we were pulling into the parking lot of La Union (grocery store), Scarlett asked Lucie "what's wrong with you aren't you feeling good?" I looked in the back seat and Lucie had her hand over her mouth (so not a good sign) and before I could tell Norman to stop the car...Lucie puked through her hand and all over herself. Norman stopped the car, but in the middle of the street so we couldn't exit - I am trying to think about how to say "pull over" in Spanish but was a loss for words. Lucie continues to puke all over the back seat, into her activity bag (contains coloring books, crayons, DS's etc..). Gracie starts crying and is desperately trying to open her door - which is locked and she is yelling "abre la puerta" in English "open the door!!". I finally use sign language and limited Spanish to explain to Norman to pull into a parking space and grab Lucie out of the car. She continues to puke and now her little sister is mimicking her actions. Gracie wasn't actually throwing up but making all the noises - which was making me want to toss my cookies!!!

When Lucie seemed finished...I used every anti-bacterial wipe I had in my purse to clean her up. I kept apologizing to Norman - his car was destroyed. I helped clean up as best as I could and he kept telling me "no problem, I will go to the car wash and everything will be fine". Poor guy!! Norman tells me how he and his wife want to have 5 children and all girls - he thinks girls make a happy home - well, after these months with us....I think he very well may change his mind!!

Funny thing about Lucie - she never says "Mom, I'm not feeling well" or "my tummy hurts a little" or even "I am getting ready to puke" - she says NOTHING!!! No complaining...nothing. It amazes me how fast it comes on and if I don't ask her directly "How are you?" she will never tell me. I need to remember this about my girl and ask more often and look out for - what seem obvious now - signs that she may be in trouble!!

We headed into the grocery store and I was rushing because I knew Norman wanted to drop us off and go clean his car. We were going up and down all the isles and then Lucie told me she needed to go to the bathroom - here is a golden opportunity to ask her how she was feeling but instead my reply was "Scarlett, honey please take your sister to the bathroom"!! Lord, what was I thinking?

I was in the check out counter, getting ready to pay when the girls finally came out of the bathroom - I was worried about them at this point and waved them down to where I was. When Lucie got to me, she was looking a little pale and I asked her "how are you feeling love?" And she replied by throwing up all over the floor!!

O.K. - so now I have to pay for my groceries - the check out lady is asking me if I want some coupon deal and giving me all the details and the bagger continues to bag my groceries!! Can't they see what's going on? I took Lucie's hand and started to walk her outside...leaving my groceries behind, she threw up a couple more times before we got out the door, and finished when we were outside. As soon as she was done, she clapped her hands together (this is her communication for "pick me up") and because she was so pitiful, I immediately did so. Now, at this point there is puke all over her clothes, in her hair and now on me.

The bagger showed up outside with our groceries (didn't know that I actually had paid for them already) and I searched my bags and found some baby wipes and cleaned my girl up the best I could!! We got back in the cab (which actually didn't smell too bad) and went directly home. Lucie and I took a shower and she went to bed....

She's feeling much better, had some dinner and is sleeping - so I think the worst is over. Scarlett and I replayed the entire scenario this evening and got very tickled. Does it mean that I'm a good mother when I can laugh at my children getting sick? Am I absolutely losing my mind because I find this all so funny? Is it time to go home?

Well, it's actually surprising that this is our first sickness (and hopefully the last) since our stay in Nicaragua. I think we are all exhausted and it reminds me of how blessed we are to have our health during this journey. So no, I will never ask myself again "what will I be able to blog about tonight"? Because in my world, something ALWAYS happens!!!

P.S. Just getting ready to publish this post and my girl just got sick again!! Please pray for her speedy recovery!!

Love and Blessings ....