I want to start off my blog by thanking all of you, who read this, who support and love me and my family. YOU have made all the difference in this "adventure" of ours!! I still can't believe that our time here is coming to an end. Scarlett said today that we will never live here again.. we will come back to visit but never live here. We won't frequent the places we hold so dear and be with the people who have always supported and loved us...it has been a once in a lifetime opportunity for us - one that we will always treasure.
We took our last visit today to Granada. We love this city. It is so full of life and activity. We feel at home here with lots of gringos around :) We had breakfast at our favorite place "Kathy's Waffle House" and ate too many pancackes and waffles!! Lucie always has their chocolate milk and it is heaven in a glass!! We all had a small taste this morning. Our friends Jason, Michele and Jonathan accompanied us and we did some shopping for gifts and enjoyed the morning in this beautiful city.
We have been busy packing - looking through everything to see what we want to bring home. Our plan is to give everything away...the dishes, the bedding, fans, games...and clothing. We will be going home much lighter than when we came!!
I have to share something with you all that has always bothered me and continues to do so - It's about unconditional giving. I always have considered myself a giving person but I must admit that I have my restrictions. I want to help - I want to give but always on MY terms. I am ashamed of this. For example, I have a lady, Jacklyn, that comes and cleans for us - she does our laundry and some cleaning 3 times a week. Jacklyn is a nice lady and I know she needs the work. I always over-pay her and thank her for her help. There have been times that she doesn't clean for us.. when we are away from the house when she usually arrives...but I always pay her as if she was here and working. Yesterday, I explained when we were leaving and that her last day would be Wednesday. Jacklyn started to ask me to give her things around the house - cleaning products and our fans - I explained that we are giving everything to the people at the orphanage. Her reply was that she really needed one of our fans and I told her that I would think about it. And I have. I have thought and thought about who is more deserving - the orphanage, Norman my cab driver who has been so good to us or Jacklyn. If I am truly honest, I don't want to give her anything because she asked for it!! I know this isn't right - and I am struggling with these feelings. I still don't know what I want to do - or more importantly, what is the best thing to do. Why is being good so hard sometimes?
I feel the same way when I am not appreciated. There have been so many times that I have given to Maria Jose and the children at the orphanage and not been thanked. We recently took several of the older girls and Maria Jose to a movie and dinner - it was expensive due to the amount of people but I enjoyed doing it...enjoyed it until the end of the night and not one person thanked me. I hold resentment because of this and I don't like those feelings. Isn't giving suppose to be unconditional? Being thanked or not being asked...should they matter at all? Why does it have such an impact on me?
We had a good day today overall....I am starting to feel positive about the fact that we will be home and soon, no matter what delays we incur. Tomorrow is a tough day for us - possibly our last at the orphanage and it makes me very sad. Saying goodbye has NEVER been something I'm good at - I usually lie about how long I'll be gone (the kids will ask me when I'm coming back and I will answer "in a couple of months" and Scarlett always contradicts me and says - we aren't coming back for a long time!!! Can you go away now?) and always, always cry!! So I am off to bed to get a good night's rest and praying that tomorrow goes smoothly.
Again, thank you to all of you - our AMAZING friends and family...I love you more than you will ever know and hope that I am as good as a friend to you that you have all been to me!! Love and Blessings!!! Happy Weekend!!
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So as a "Guy"/husband, I totally want to jump in and try to solve this issue of the fan...but I have learned at my old age that sometimes, especially when your wife is being sweet and pouring her heart out to everyone...that silence and using my "listening ears" is the best solution overall. If the only issues you are dealing with is trying not to break the heart of an kid at the orphanage or trying to do the right thing with people like Jacklyn (remember, the right thing sometimes is NOT to give the handout)...than you are pretty strong in my book. And smack Scarlett in the forehead for me...tell her to stop trying to keep us honest! :-) Baye, thanks for being who you are and writting this blog. In fact, thanks for writing the blog everyday (except when your husband came to town and distracted you!), I know it meant a lot to me and I am sure to everyone reading it! This has truly been an adventure of a life time for you and the girls (okay so maybe Scarlett is right on this one!)...I am blessed to have been able to watch this one play out. Love you...
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